The Holiday Prt 10

Wizard: I’m a wizard!

Guy 1: You just said that!

Wizard: Yes well I am a Wizard you know.

Sally: What are you doing here Wizard?

Guy 1: You know the wizard?

Sally: Yeah. He’s a wizard.

Guy 1: That’s... that’s not a correlation!

Gary: (click)

Wizard: I was just out for a leisurely stroll when some squirrels offered me a shoe. I was suspicious of the squirrels at first but they tried to assure me it had obtained the shoe legitimately. You know me, I’m always a bit uncertain about accepting deals for footwear, especially ones with teeth marks, from woodland creatures so I declined his offer. Now I am here.

Sally: It’s a good thing you didn’t accept that offer from the squirrel Wizard, that shoe belongs to a friend of ours and that squirrel stole it from him.

Guy 1: Yes, and stealing is wrong.

Wizard: Where is your friend now?

Sally: He’s wandered off and now is lost in the woods.

Wizard: Then I shall help you find him! I’m a wizard you know.

Sally: Yes, yes I do.

Sally leads them the way that Gary had pointed out previously. The wizard trailed slightly behind far enough that Guy 1 could talk to Sally quietly without being heard.

Guy 1: You know the Wizard?

Sally: I already said yes.

Guy 1: Yes but... how?

Sally: Oh I just know him. He just pops up now and then.

Guy 1: Talking to woodland creatures? Can he really do that?

Sally: I don’t think so. But hey, some crazy people you just need to humour really. I don’t think he’s dangerous it’s just he probably will just keep talking about the squirrels until you agree with him. Just smile and nod. Oh, and whatever you do, when he says “I’m a wizard” don’t go “and I’m a troll!” or any other mythical creature. He goes crazy.

Guy 1: Does he turn green?

Sally: What? Oh, hahaha no. He’s not the hulk.

Guy 1: I was actually thinking Green Lantern but OK, good to know he also is not the hulk.

Sally: He is definitely not a famous comic book hero of any kind. Though one of my neighbour’s kids did have his own comic book series going for a while and did include the wizard in one issue.

Guy 1: How’d it go?

Sally: He’d just subdue everyone with lightning and then smoothly say “I’m a wizard” and all the girls would swoon for him.

Guy 1: If only that worked in real life.

Guy 1 looked off in the distance longingly, wishing that not only did it work but that he was a wizard as well. Oh the fun he’d have if only he had a foot long wand and a catchy catchphrase that turned on women. He randomly spoke midway through his thought.

Guy 1: It’d be so erotic.

Sally: It’d be what?

Guy 1: I said erotic.

Long pause.

Sally: What would?

Guy 1: Wands. In my... head... No I mean. I was thinking of... things. Wizardy things.

Wizard: (in the distance) I’m a wizard!

Guy 1: Thank you for informing me! Again!

Wizard: You’re very welcome!

Guy 1: I know I am. I am most welcome.

Wizard: I concur!

Sally: OK I can’t tell, is this a conversation entirely in sarcasm? Or are either both or either of you unable of understanding sarcasm so this is sincere? I’m not sure with you two.

Guy 1: I’m being sincere.

Wizard: So am I! I’m a wizard you know!

Guy 1: Not a correlation!

Gary: (click) (click!) (click!)

Gary banged his head against a nearby tree.

Gary: (click) (click) (click) (click) (click)

Sally: You’re right Gary; it’s soon to be dark. OK everyone lets pick up the pace! Hey, give me your phone.

Sally got hers out and adjusted the brightness setting. Guy 1 handed her his phone and did the same. She pointed them down at the ground.

Sally: Do those look like tracks to you?

The Wizard started climbing a tree. Gary and Guy 1 crowded round what Sally was pointing to.

Gary: (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click)

Guy 1: I agree Gary; indeed they do look like tracks.

Sally: OK they’re not the best defined prints but they look human right?

Guy 1: Yeah.

Sally: OK. I can’t tell if whoever made these tracks was missing a shoe or how old they are so we’re just going to have to take a gamble and follow them anyway. Agree everyone?

Gary: (click)

Guy 1: (click)

Sally: Wizard? Hello? Where’s the Wizard?

Everyone looked around but couldn’t see him. Suddenly he dropped down right in front of them only inches away.

Wizard: Hi!

Guy 1: Agh!

Sally: What were you doing?

Wizard: I was climbing the tree to see further on, I thought if I wasn’t blocked by all the trunks of trees I could see more.

Sally: And what did you see at the top of the tree?

Wizard: Leaves. Lots of leaves... apparently there are a lot of them everywhere.

Sally: Yes, trees generally have leaves.

Wizard: Many. Many that block my view.

Sally: Yeah... OK so this way then.

Sally takes a step back from the Wizard before leading them in the direction of the tracks, yelling out in case Guy 2 heard them. As they ventured further they were painfully aware of the sun setting. It was getting increasingly dark and the party was getting very worried, except the wizard which seemed unaware of anything and just smiled obliviously. It was almost disconcerting for Guy 1 who still had thoughts about being killed lingering in the back of his head. And hey, was the Wizard glowing?

Guy 2: Ow!

Guy 1: Gasp! A bear has been injured!

Sally: OK I’ve known him for much less time and even I know that that’s your friend.

Guy 2: Ow again!

Sally: Hello! What’s happening? Where are you?

Guy 2: I bumped into a tree! Ow! I bumped into it again! I think I’m blind.

Sally: Stop walking around. It’s dark, you’re not blind.

Guy 2: No, I’m pretty sure I’m blind now. Walked into a branch and now I can’t open my eyes because it hurts too much.

Sally: OK well keep talking, we’re going to try and find you by the sound of your voice.

Guy 2: OK. What to say? What to say? OK well after Gary abandoned me-

Gary: (click) (click)!

Guy 2: So cruelly and harshly abandoned, and pretending to be disabled to get away with it too, I wandered around aimlessly in the hopes of eventually making it back home. Unfortunately this did not come to pass and now I am stuck standing in front of a tree I can’t see for multiple reasons, one, it’s quite dark and two-

Sally: OK you can stop talking now we’ve found you.

Guy 2: Oh good. Now what?

Sally: Well I can take a look at your eye for you.

Sally used her phone to see as she inspected Guy 2’s eye.

Sally: Yeah don’t worry, it looks fine. You haven’t scratched anything, you’ve just poked it. You’ll be fine in a while.

Guy 2: Good.

Guy 2 slowly opened his eyes, blinking a lot. Eventually he could open them all the way. While he was doing this Sally looked around. It was now completely dark and there was no hope of getting back home now.

Sally: Oh...

Guy 1: Oh?

Sally: It’s too dark to carry on, we’ll need to camp here for the night. Do any of you know how to make a good fire?

Guy 1: I d-

Guy 2: NO! No! No you are not going to make us a camp fire!

Sally: Why not? What’s so bad about him making fire?

Guy 2: Do you want to tell her why you’re never allowed to make fire again?

Guy 1 paused, opened his mouth and looked at Sally, who was illuminated in the eerie glow of a mobile phone screen, for a moment before speaking.

Guy 1: (meekly) No.

Guy 2: Tell her the story...

Guy 1: But I don’t want to!

Guy 2: Tell her about the fire story or I tell everyone about the time you used Botox on uncle’s baby!

Gary: (click) (click)?

Sally: You did wh-

Guy 1: So yes, fire story! I shall tell you... the fire story...

Gary: (click)?

Guy 1: NO BABIES! OK well it all started one summer when I decided it would be fun to play with matches. Soon I had made a detailed picture of his dog out of burnt matchsticks. I was quite impressed so I decided to show the picture off to the dog and he seemed quite interested so went to sniff it and one of the matches was still burning as an ember and then... well his snout caught on fire.

Guy 2: And then what?

Guy 1: And then he ran over near your precious collection of dried grass and then it too set on fire...

Sally: “Your precious collection of dried grass”?

Guy 2: It was a different time... Don’t judge me.

Guy 1: So then his dog is on fire, and so is his grass and then suddenly I realised my right hand has caught alight and then he comes home and sees all this happening.

Guy 2: I get angry. Really angry.

Guy 1: So he’s beating me with a cricket bat and yelling profanities while his dog is running around on fire and then the cricket bat sets on fire.

Sally: OK I think I get the picture. So how’d it get resolved?

Guy 1: Neighbour was too lazy to call the fire department so they turned on a hose and sprayed it over the fence.

Guy 2: And not with specific intent or aim either, she just slung it over the fence so it was just spraying a bit over. We had to chase the dog towards the hose and then put out his hand.

Sally: Not the other way round? Aww you poor man!

Sally grabbed Guy 1’s right hand and looked at it.

Sally: There are no scars or healed burn marks on this hand! Only one scar in the middle?

Guy 2: He’s like some kind of weird freak who has a natural immunity to fire or something. You can set part of him on fire and it’ll burn for a while without hurting him. I have no idea where those two scars on his hands come from.

Guy 1: It does hurt me. It’s hot and hotness hurts.

Guy 2: Not quite what I meant.

Sally looked at Guy 1’s left hand and there was an identical scar also in the middle. She looked up at him with a look of disbelief that their story was true.

Sally: Immunity to fire? That’s just absurd.

Guy 2: Well in case you haven’t noticed he’s a very absurd person. Now, I’m going to help us get a campfire going and not burn down the entire woods!

Five minutes later:

Sally: OK now as long as you don’t touch anything like dirt or trees then it shouldn’t get infected.

Guy 2: Ow.

Guy 2 clutched his hand that was now slightly burnt.

Gary: (click) (click) (click)

Guy 2: Shut up! I have no idea what you just said but I’m sure you were mocking me.

Gary: (click)

Sally: Oh he doesn’t mean that. I’m sure he wants you to get well soon. Don’t worry; it’s not a major burn so not all of the skin on your hand will peel off. Sorry but I don’t have any bandages to wrap your hand in with me.

Guy 2: I feel so reassured.

Guy 2 looked at the back and front of his hand. It looked incredibly red and orange actually. It took him a moment to realise that the orange was because of the flickering light coming from a few feet from him. He looked over and saw that Guy 1 had successfully made a camp fire while Sally was tending to his wounds. Sally had noticed this too.

Sally: Oh how pretty! Good job! See? We should’ve let him make fire after all!

Guy 2 was completely delusional that he still had a chance with Sally as he was unaware of that near kiss that happened between Guy 1 and her. He was feeling quite jealous of Sally’s constant affection for Guy 1 and annoyed at his constant injury. It just didn’t seem right that Guy 1 would be getting more attention than him for things that weren’t obscene in public.

Sally: It’s a good thing you got this fire going or we would’ve had to snuggle together for warmth.

It was almost audible the sound of the realisation of an opportunity missed in Guy 1 and 2’s head. They just froze as they imagined what could’ve occurred out here in the woods all starting with Sally saying “Gee it’s cold tonight.”

Guy 1 and 2: We... still... could.

They glanced at each other realising that their thoughts were on the same track. It somewhat disturbed Guy 2 to think that his thoughts were exactly the same as Guy 1’s even down to the timing. Sally laughed.

Sally: Let’s sit down.

They all sat down in a circle around the fire.

Sally: Well it’s dark but it’s too early to sleep so let’s all tell each other a story. Gary, you’re first.

Gary: (click) (click) (click)? (click) (click)?

Sally: No we don’t mind if it’s a really long one. In fact, the longer the better. And yes, it can be a horror story.

Gary: (click)!

Gary smiled as he shuffled slightly closer to the fire. He leaned forward so the fire would light his face in an eerie glow, shadows were cast across his face. He slowly looked at everyone around the fire before taking a deep breath as he readied his story.

Gary: (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) .......... (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click).... (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click).... (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click).... (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click).... (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click)................ (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click)........ (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click).... (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click)........................................................................................................... (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click)! (click)! (click)! (click)! (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click)!!! (CLICK)!!!

Sally, The Wizard and Guy 1 sat there captivated by Gary’s story. Guy 1 was even trembling and Sally would gasp whenever Gary clicked in exclamation. Guy 2 just sat there bored as hell as he still couldn’t understand a single word Gary said. It was just repetitive clicking to him. Gary continued his story.

Gary: (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click) (click)! (click)! (click)! (click)! .............. (click) (click) (click)!!! (click) (click)!!.................................................................................... (click)

Guy 1 and Sally flinched at the end before applauding. Wizard screamed.

Sally: That was best and scariest story I have ever heard! How did you tell it so masterfully Gary? The suspense, the detail!

Guy 1: That was so dirty.

Sally: I did not expect that ending.

Guy 1: I didn’t either. I was just... blown away!

Sally: I was too!

Wizard: It was more suspenseful than Hitchcock, was more macabre than Poe himself and even King would be freaked by your storytelling. I give it 5 out of 4 stars.

Gary: (click) (click)!

Sally: What did you think of it? Wasn’t it just the scariest story ever?

Guy 2: Um... sure.

Sally: And very original too. The ways those people died!

Guy 2: It was definitely like nothing I had ever experienced.

Guy 1: I will forever be scared of salad due to that. I really will have to check through the entire thing before I eat a single bite.

Guy 2 was uncertain if they were just messing with him or if that was really part of the story. Just in case, he didn’t want to admit absolute ignorance by asking what salad had to do with anything or why The Wizard was looking around wildly in all directions with his fists up ready to fight. Maybe that was due to the story maybe because The Wizard seemed to be permanently on some kind of acid trip, Guy 2 really couldn’t tell.

Guy 1: I don’t think I can sleep tonight after that.

Sally: Well I guess that means you get to tend to the fire to make sure it doesn’t go out!

Guy 1: Stay up with me. I’m scared.

Sally: Don’t worry; I won’t let the story come true, especially not the part involving the eggs and the tractor.

Guy 1: Oh good. That was the scariest part!

Sally: It was indeed.

Sally held Guy 1 jokingly to comfort him. Just then, there was a blood curdling animalistic howl from far off in the dark woods. Everyone screamed.

To be continued...

The Holiday Prt 5.

Part 1 Here:
Part 2 Here:
Part 3 Here:
Part 4 Here:

Sally had the most wonderful wavy peach blonde hair that flowed down onto her lightly tanned shoulders that were clearly visible. Her light-green tank top was tight against her body showing off her exquisite curves.

Cameraman: Oh you can so tell a man wrote that…

Guy 1 and 2: Go away! You’re not in this story!

They go back to staring at her soft, feminine shoulders.

Sally: Hey are you listening to me?

Guy 1: No.

Sally laughs.

Sally: Yeah you are you answered my question! You silly goose you.

Guy 1: Yeah… silly.

Guy 1 blinks several times and shakes his head.

Guy 1: Yes! I’m a goose!

Sally laughs again.

Sally: You’re so funny! Haha you’re going to make me laugh so much we crash and die!

Guy 2: Can you make sure only he dies and we get out alive?

Sally: Haha! Oh you.

Guy 2: (To Guy 1) I’m starting to like this holiday now.

Guy 1: That’s nice. You can leave now.

Sally: So where are you guys from?

Guy 1 and 2: Australia!

Guy 2: Yeah I wrestle crocs for a living.

Guy 1: Yeah well… I wrestle him for a living!

Guy 2: What?

Sally: Wow. Well G’day mate!

Guy 2: No one says that.

Guy 1: G’day!

Sally: Throw another shrimp on the barbie.

Guy 2: We call them prawns.

Guy 1: And he wrestles them for a living!

Sally: I’d love to see that!

Guy 2: Well I’ll give you a special private show if you want me to.

Sally: No way! I need to bring the girls around.

Guy 2: OK! I like where this is going.

Sally: To see you and your shrimp.

Guy 1 cracks up laughing. Guy 2 punches him on the shoulder but he keeps laughing.

Sally: Hey I’ve been driving for hours do you mind if we pull over so I can stretch my legs?

Guy 1: No I don’t mind your legs at all.

Sally: Haha that’s not quite what I meant but thank you anyway.

Sally pulls over and gets out. Guy 1 and 2 also get out. Sally stretches and looks at the sky.

Sally: The sky is so beautiful out here… I could just stare at it for days on end.

Long pause. Guy 1 looks at Guy 2. Guy 2 shrugs then looks back at Sally. Long pause.

Guy 1: But you’re not going to… right?

Sally: No of course not! Mmmmaybe tomorrow though. Want to join me?

Guy 2: Sure!

Sally: I was asking him.

Guy 2: Oh.

Guy 1: Yeah OK.

Guy 1 looks at Guy 2 smugly. Guy 2 looks back with a look of disdain.

Sally: OK well we’d better get going again.

Guy 1 and 2 turn to get back into the car, but Sally rushes over so she’s in front of them.

Sally: But first you must fight me! Hiyah!

Sally pretends to punch both of them before kicking the air.

Sally: Haha I’m just kidding come on let’s go.

Guy 1 relaxes from his defensive stance. They all get into the car and continue their drive towards Charleston.

Sally: So what are you doing here in America?

Guy 2: This idiot decided to click on a bunch of banner ads and infected my computer with viruses after he borrowed money from a loan shark in my name and so if we don’t go on this holiday and somehow find a bunch of money then I’m going to have my legs broken. So you know… it’s all his fault.

Sally: Oh don’t be so harsh on the poor guy! He got you a lovely holiday in a beautiful country to a darling place that no one ever goes to.

Guy 2: No one ever goes to Charleston?

Sally: Bahahaha! Except us of course.

Guy 2: What’s actually in Charleston?

Sally: Trees. And houses.

Guy 2: Uh huh…

Sally: We’ve also got a courthouse! You like justice right?

Guy 1: Oh my gosh! I love justice!

Sally and Guy 1: Justice! Justice! Justice! It’s so gooooood and free! Justice! Justice! Justice! It’s there to protect me! Justice is good, never ever ever wrong, ever feel down, sing the justice song! Because we’re defending civil rights yeah! Defending civil rights. Gotta love those rights ‘cause they help our civil plights. Break it down!

Guy 1 points to Guy 2. Guy 2 just sits there.

Guy 2: Huh?

Guy 1: Awww! Don’t you know the Justice Song?

Guy 2: Um… no.

Sally: Sigh!

Guy 1: Sigh indeed.

Guy 2: Where would I get a hold of the Justice Song?

Sally: I don’t know. You either just know the song or you don’t.

Guy 1: Yeah you social reject.

Guy 2: OK list how many friends you have then…

Guy 1: Um… you… cameraman… uh… Sally! Sally’s my friend right aren’t you Sally?

Sally: I sure am! You’re my Justice Buddy!

Guy 1: Yes! I finally have a Justice Buddy! Oh yeah and Steve.

Guy 2: Steve?

Guy 1: Yeah Steve. You know… he’s got hair… on his head. Eyeballs? Nose? Is any of this ringing a bell?

Guy 2: Oh so he’s… a mammal then?

Guy 1: Yeah! He’s a mammal.

Sally: Yay for mammalia! Hey well we’re nearly at Charleston. Do you guys know where you’re staying?

Guy 2 looks at Guy 1.

Guy 1: Um… oh. Oh! Yes, Queen Anne’s on 7th Street Bed and Breakfast!

Guy 1 looked very proud of himself.

Guy 2: It sounds nice.

Sally: To 7th Street then!

Guy 1: Hoorah!

They continue to drive onwards. They arrive at Charleston and Guy 1 and 2 stare out the windows taking it all in, the trees and buildings, the teenagers walking along laughing, the strange old hunch-backed lady pointing directly at the car with a sneer on her face, all of it. Guy 1 realised his nose had been pushed up against the glass which explained why he couldn’t breathe properly. He moved slightly away from the windowpane and realised he had left a mark that looked like a demented face on the glass. He tried to rub it off but it refused to be cleaned away. The car stops.

Sally: Um…

Guy 1: What?

Guy 1 and 2 turn to look at what Sally had stopped in front of. It was the Queen Anne’s on 7th Street. It was on fire.

Guy 1: Agh!

Sally: Agh indeed!

Man on Fire: AAAGGHHHHH!!!

The man ran into the front of the car, screamed at the windscreen, ran to the side of the car and looked in before screaming again. He then went around the car and screamed at the other window. He then ran around in a circle before running off.

Guy 1: I wonder what his problem was.

Guy 2: What are we going to do now? This is so unfair on us!

The man on fire returned to scream and Guy 2 before running off again.

Guy 2: My thoughts exactly! Urgh… what are we going to do now?

Sally: Well perhaps calling the fire brigade would be a good plan.

Guy 2: Nah, someone else has probably done that already.

Cut to: Local fire station.

Man on Fire runs up to a bunch of fire-fighters who are sitting around.

Man on Fire: Agh! Agh! Agh!

Fire-fighter: That man is on fire! What is it man on fire? Where’s the fire?

The Man on Fire points.

Man on Fire: Agh! Agh! Agh!

Fire-fighter: Let’s go!

The fire-fighters all rush into their trucks and drive off towards the fire. The Man on Fire looks around and sees no one. He looks down at his still flaming arms.

Man on Fire: Agh? Agh…

Cut to: Sally’s car.

Guy 2: So what now?

Sally: Have you got like, a back up place to stay?

Guy 1: No. Not really…

Sally: Oh.

Guy 2: Great.

Sally: Well you could always stay at my place if you want.

Guy 1 and 2 paused for a moment. There was an almost audible click as the clogs in their brain suddenly came together and realised what had just been offered to them. Their smiles got larger than they ever thought they could and they suddenly started wondering about the size of things…

Guy 1 and 2: YES! YES! OK! SURE!

Guy 1: We’d love to!

Guy 2: That’d be great!

Guy 1: Thank you thank you thank you!

Guy 2: You’re so awesome!

Guy 1: Yay for Sally!

Guy 2: Yay indeed!

Guy 1: Have my babies!

Sally: Hahaha! Wait- what?

Guy 1: Um… you know… being a parent is quite hard so if you could just… take my babies away from me… forever… that’d be greatly appreciated.

Sally: You’re a father?

Guy 1: Haha no. No I’m not.

Sally: I didn’t think so.

Guy 1: Awww you got me! Awww.

Sally: Aww! Oh well! Well OK guys we’re going to my house!
Guy 1 starts celebrating in the back of the car.

Guy 1: YES! YES! YEAH! WOOOOO!!! HELL YEAH! HOUSE! HOUSE! HOUSE!

Sally: Whoa! You’re a bit of a loud fella aren’t you?

Guy 1: What? Oh… so that wasn’t inside my head then?

Sally slowly shakes her head.

Guy 1: Oh…

Guy 1 hangs his head, embarrassed.

Guy 1: (Quietly) Yes. Woo. Awesome. Yeah…

Guy 2: Still not in your head.

Guy 1: Shut up!

Ten minutes later they arrive at Sally’s house. It looked similar to the rest of the suburban homes around it. A teenager, probably 16 or 17 years of age, steps out of the house and hugs Sally.

Sally: Hey guys, meet my younger brother, Gary.

Guy 1: Hello.

Guy 2: Hey.

Gary: (click)

Guy 2: Excuse me?

Sally: Oh he’s mute. He communicates in a series of clicks.

Gary: (click) (click)

Sally: That means hello.

Guy 2: (click) (click)

Sally: No don’t do that. He’s not deaf so finds people clicking at him mockery.

Gary: (click)

Guy 2: That was “yes” right?

Sally: No. Think four letters. OK, well Gary can take your lugg- Wait.

Guy 2: What? Oh…

Sally: Did you guys actually… bring anything?

Guy 2: Oh great!

Guy 1: What? What? What’s going on? I’m quite oblivious to your cause of distress!

Guy 2: We forgot our luggage! We left it on the bus!

Guy 1: Oh… aw dammit! And I had some important stuff!

Guy 2: Such as?

Guy 1: Not telling you. It’s personal.

Cut to: Side of the road. The passengers of the bus sit opposite the burning wreckage.

Black Man: OK I’ve recovered what I can from the luggage on board…

He looked at the tag attached to the suitcase he was holding.

“Please do not steal this - xo.”

Black Man: Hey who doesn’t want me to steal their luggage?

Everyone puts their hand up slowly and slightly confused.

Man: Well it’d be best if you um… didn’t?

Black Man: No there’s a note… oh never mind.

He opens up the case and sees a bunch of Pokemon plush toys.

Black Man: Who here likes Mudkips?

Man: Oh for crying out loud. Let it die! That is an overused internet meme!

Black Man: No I meant… this doll… here.

Cut to: Sally’s house.

Guy 1: Well do you think we can go back?

Guy 2: They were probably all destroyed in the explosion.

Guy 1: Dammit!

Sally: Don’t worry guys, I’m sure Gary won’t mind lending you some clothes and you can always just buy a few new clothes from the local store here. It’ll be very touristy! Come on! I’ll help you shop!

Guy 1: Really? That’d be awesome.

Sally: Oh a guy actually enthusiastic about shopping. I like that.

Guy 1: Hehe…

Guy 2: Dude… are you blushing?

Guy 1: (Defensively) No! Stop looking at me!

Guy 1 covers his face with his hands. Sally laughs.

Sally: Come on inside I’ll show you around.

She leads them up the stairs and opens the door. Guy 2 walks in first then, Guy 1, who is still covering his face, walks into the wall right next to the door. Sally laughs.

Sally: Welcome to my humble abode!

To Be Continued…