The Visitor From an Alternate Reality Prt 4

Part One:

Part Two:

Part Three:

Narrator: In the short time that the portal to an alternate reality had been open dozens of copies had come through… some good some evil… eventually the evil ones triumphed against the originals. Now who will save this world?

Guy 1I: Superman!

Guy 1I points to the sky. It’s a bird.

Guy 2E: It’s a bird.

Guy 1I: It’s a plane!

Guy 2E: No… it’s a bird… come on we have to find… home…

Guy 1I: Oooh! Blue!

Guy 2E: Yes that’s nice it’s the sky please move this way.

Guy 2E walks off leaving Guy 1I. Guy 2E comes back and grabs Guy1I and drags him away.

Meanwhile at Guy 1’s house…

Guy 3B: Mwhahahahaha!

Guy 3A: Shut up.

Guy 3B: Nobody tells me what to do but me!

Guy 3A: Exactly. Shut up. Now… how should we destroy the world?

Guy 3B: Nuclear weapons are always fun.

Guy 3A: Uhhh… that would cause a nuclear winter and I’d prefer my last days on earth celebrating being warm.

Guy 3B: Oh yeah… how about a killer virus that makes people go crazy with rage and kill other people and they don’t even eat or sleep when infected so they eventually die?

Guy 3A: I don’t know… I think that’s been done before…

Guy 3B: How ‘bout we block out the sun?

Guy 3A: That’s also been done.

Guy 3B: What hasn’t been done?

Guy 3A: Turning robots against humans on mother’s day?

Guy 3B: But mother’s day is too far away… plus we don’t have enough evil robots…

Guy 3A: Oh yeah…. forgot about that…

Just then, Guy 2E and Guy 1I burst through the door.

Guy 2E: Hello.

Guy 3A: ‘Sup?

Guy 2E: Nothing much.

In the background Guy 1I is poking the walls and going “oooooh!”

Guy 3B: Hey what’s up with him?

Guy 2E turns around and looks at Guy 1I. Guy 1I pokes the wall then jumps up and down while clapping excitedly. Guy 2E turns around.

Guy 2E: We’re from the retard universe.

Guy 3A: You don’t seem very retarded.

Guy 2E: I don’t know my own name or do simple maths but I can do complex equations in my head instantly.

Guy 3A: Really? What’s 2 plus 2?

Guy 2E: Uhh… umm… uhh…

Guy 2E starts going crazy and spasms.

Guy 2E: Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! My head hurts!

Guy 1I claps and laughs.

Guy 1I: Funny monkey!

Guy 3A turns to Guy 3B.

Guy 3A: Man this universe sucks. We really have to close that portal.

Guy 3B: I know… we have to do it before anything dumber comes through.

Guy 2E is on the floor still having a spasm. Guy 1I is kicking him.

Guy 3A: Oh for crying out loud… 2 plus 2 is 4!

Guy 2E stops and looks at him.

Guy 2E: You sure? I have to check that… uhh… umm… umm… agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! It burns!

Guy 2E starts going spastic again. Guy 3A sighs and shoots him. Guy 2E lays still and Guy 1I stares at the body. He then pokes it.

Guy 3A: So where did you come from?

Guy 3B: Your mum.

Guy 3A: OK I don’t know where to begin with what’s wrong with that… no but seriously we need to close this portal now.

Guy 3B: OK I’ll show you.

They turn to the door and see Guy 1I thumping Guy 2E with a plank of wood.

A few minutes later they arrive at the portal.

Guy 3A: How do we close it?

Guy 3B: I don’t know… shoot it?

They start shooting at it. Guy 1J appears and dies.

Guy 3A: Hey wow this strategy is making me feel happy already!

Guy 3B: This isn’t working…

Guy 3C: Perhaps I can help.

Guy 3A and B turn around and see Guy 3C who has glasses on.

Guy 3C: I’m from the retard universe as well but for some reason I’m a genius compare to the rest of you… oh burn! A guy from the retard universe is smarter than you!

Guy 3B raises his gun.

Guy 3B: You may be smarter but soon you’re going to be deader if you don’t stop mocking yourself.

Guy 3C: Oh yeah… well it’s simple, just reverse the polarity and the temporal space-time anomaly will implode and some other sci-fi mumbo jumbo happens and then all is solved although it hasn’t been properly explained.

Guy 3A: That was so vague it might just be plausible…

Guy 3B: Nothing about this is plausible…

Guy 3A: Shut up.

The screen goes black.

Narrator: And so the evil ones closed the portal to the other worlds by doing something that sounds scientific and therefore dooming the world forever… or so you would think…

Guy 1K looks around and smiles.

The End.

The Visitor From an Alternate Reality Prt 2

Part One Here

Guy 1A sits down on the couch next to Guy 2A and presses play on the remote.

Guy 2A: Hey…

Guy 1A: Yeah?

Guy 2A: You just killed yourself.

Guy 1A: Yeah I know…

Guy 2A: Oh… Isn’t that sorta weird?

Guy 1A: No.

Guy 2A: So are we going to clean up the body of your alternate self off the floor?

Camera shows Guy 1B lying on the floor dead.

Guy 1A: Later. I’m watching The Terminator.

Guy 2A: Yeah you’re right.

One Hour Later.

Guy 1A: Oh now I get it! The Terminator is a robot! Of course it’s so simple now!

Guy 2A: How many times have you seen this movie?

Guy 1A: At least five times.

There’s a knock at the door. Guy 2A gets up and answers it. Guy 1D is on the other side. He walks in uninvited.

Guy 1D: Hey why am I lying dead on the doorstep? (Pause) And on the floor over there? (Pause) and sitting alive on the couch over there?

Guy 1A: Oh not another one!

Guy 1D: Another what?

Guy 2A: Another you. Another him… What is going on!?

Guy 1D: Oh you mean the clones have got here already?

Guy 2A: You mean they’re clones and not visitors from another reality?

Guy 1D: Nah they are from another reality I just call them clones.

Guy 1A: OK enough talk I’m going to kill you now.

Guy 1A gets out a gun and shoots Guy 1D.

Guy 2A: Why’d you do that?

Guy 1E: Do what?

Guy 2A and 1A turn and there’s another Guy 1 in the doorway.

Guy 1A: This.

Guy 1A shoots Guy 1E.

Guy 2A: Seriously where did you pull that gun from?

Guy 1A: I have unlimited hammer space.

Guy 2B: Nah you’ve just got a fat butt.

Guy 2A turns to the door and there’s another one of him.

Guy 2A: Oh no now there’s one of me!

Guy 2B: Oh no! The mirror isn’t lying when it shows an ugly me! I really am ugly!

Guy 2A: Hey!

Guy 2A grabs the gun off Guy 1A and shoots his clone.

Guy 2A: We seriously need to find a way to stop these clones from appearing.

Guy 1F: I agree.

Guy 1A turns around and there’s yet another clone of him.

Guy 1A: How’d you get in here?

Guy 1F: Through the back door of course.

Guy 1A: Oh…

There’s a long pause as they look at each other. Eventually Guy 1A gets out a gun and tries shooting Guy 1F but has no more bullets left.

Guy 1A: Agh! No bullets!

Guy 1F: Ha ha! Nice one retard! You’re like the biggest loser of all time! Ha ha ha ha- wait…

Guy 1F looks around and sees that The Guys have already left.

Guy 1F: Unbelievable… I just ditched myself!

Meanwhile at Guy 1A’s house…

Guy 1A is peering out his window.

Guy 1A: I think we’re safe here… me from an alternate reality wouldn’t be caught dead in my own house…

Guy 2A: You do realise what you’re saying right?

Guy 1A: Nope.

Guy 1A turns around.

Guy 1A: Look out I’m behind you!

Guy 2A ducks and quickly turns around. Guy 1G is just standing there doing nothing.

Guy 1G: Hi.

Guy 2A: Agh! Agh!

Guy 1G: Agh! Agh!

Guy 1A: Oh no… it’s got… a moustache!

Guy 1G: Agh! Agh! Yeah I do. Like it?

Guy 1A: Actually yeah. I’ve always wanted a moustache. Hey don’t worry we don’t need to kill this one.

Guy 2A slowly lowers the wooden plank from above Guy 1G’s head and puts it behind his back. Guy 1G looks around and Guy 2A just whistles innocently. Guy 1G turns back to Guy 1A.

Guy 1G: Well I’m glad you think that way…

Guy 2A: Hey if you’re from an alternate reality do you have the same name as him?

Guy 1G: I don’t know. I don’t even know my own name.

Guy 1A: Wow. Then what does everyone call you?

Guy 1G: Same thing they call you.

Guy 1A: Oh… yeah of course. So… why have you got a moustache?

Guy 1G whips out a gun and shoots Guy 1A in the arm and Guy 2A in the chest. He walks over to Guy 1A and points the gun at him.

Guy 1G: Mwahahahaha! Don’t you know that clones from an alternate reality with moustaches are always evil?

Guy 1A: Oh yeah… why did I forget that?

Guy 1G: Because you are the biggest idiot of all time! Mwahahahaha!

Guy 1A: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Guy 1G: Why are you laughing?

Guy 1A: You called yourself and idiot.

Guy 1G: No I… wait… oh… Grr!

Guy 1 starts laughing but is silenced by Guy 1G shooting him. Guy 2C, who also has a moustache, walks up to Guy 1G.

Guy 2C: Good work. Now we can take over the world! Mwahahahaha!

Guy 1G: Mwahahahaha!

Guy 2C: So what now?

Guy 1G: I don’t know it was your plan.

To be continued...