"Huh, well done. It's very Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy ish" - Some guy I met once
"haha I'm impressed" - Ganesh, remover of Obstacles

Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Visitor From an Alternate Reality Prt 1

Sorry for putting The Holiday on hold (don't worry it shall be resolved!) but I've got exams for the next two weeks and have written anything in a while so I guess the hungry masses are starving for entertainment and so I must supply you with something. It's not second rate (well actually it is but I'm lying to you to make you think it's better than it really is) but it does get slightly confusing and delves more into the weird universe of Bilby where the 4th wall is occasionally broken and Cameraman talks more. (But not in this one though) I also wrote it two years ago so keep than in mind. The Visitor From an Alternate Reality Prt 1 everyone! Love it dammit! LOVE IT!

Guy 1A knocks on the door of Guy 2’s house. Guy 2 gets off the couch, where Guy 1B is sitting, and opens the door.

Guy 2: Hey when did you go outside?

Guy 1A: What are you on about I just got here.

Guy 2: Then if you’re out here then…

Guy 2 turns around.

Guy 2: Hey! You’re standing outside!

Cut to: Guy 1B on couch.

Guy 1B: No I’m not. I’m on the couch watching The Terminator!

Guy 2 looks at Guy 1A outside then back behind him.

Guy 2: No you’re not!

Guy 1A: Just let me in!

Guy 1A barges inside and looks into the lounge room where he finds himself on the couch.

Guy 1A: Hello.

Guy 1B: Whoa!

Guy 1A: What are you doing here?

Guy 1B: No what are you doing here?

Guy 1A: I asked you first.

Guy 1B: Technically I am you so in a way I asked you first.

Guy 1A: Then… that means… so…. Cheese…

Guy 1B: Oh man you sound like such a moron… wait you are me…

Guy 2: Uh… what’s going on here?

Guy 1A: Well it looks like this version of me-

Guy 1B: -Is from an alternate reality!


Guy 2: OK. So now what?

Guy 1B: Well we could try and figure how out how this is possible…

Guy 2: Nah that’s too hard let’s just watch The Terminator.

Guy 2 sits down next to Guy 1B.

Guy 1A: I’m not going to watch The Terminator with my clone sitting next to me! It’s like… having the Terminator sitting next to you! He could kill me at any second…

Guy 1B: I am you!

Guy 2: Yeah but you are a total emo.

Guy 1A and B: I am not emo! Shut up you! Stop saying everything I’m saying at the same time!

Guy 1A: I’m a big stupid retard!

Guy 1B: Suck! You called yourself a retard! (Laughs)

While Guy 1B is laughing Guy 1A takes out a gun and shoots Guy 1B repeatedly.

Guy 1A: Guess the alternate me isn’t smart enough to realise I always carry my gun with me…

There’s a knock at the door and Guy 1A answers it. On the other side is Guy 1C. He is panting and leaning on the wall.

Guy 1C: Help… me… The me from an… alternate reality… has come to get me… he’s my evil… twin… (Pause) apparently…

Guy 1A: How many of me are there?

Guy 1C: At least… twenty-two…

Guy 1A: OK just wait here a second…

Guy 1C waits patiently by the door for Guy 1A. All of a sudden he gets hit on the head by a 2 by 4 piece of wood. He collapses on the floor and Guy 1A steps out of the door and starts beating up his out of screen double. He stops and straightens up again.

Guy 1A: Its twenty-one now!

Guy 1A spits on the ground where his clone’s dead body is.

To be continued...

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