The Visitor From an Alternate Reality Prt 2

Part One Here

Guy 1A sits down on the couch next to Guy 2A and presses play on the remote.

Guy 2A: Hey…

Guy 1A: Yeah?

Guy 2A: You just killed yourself.

Guy 1A: Yeah I know…

Guy 2A: Oh… Isn’t that sorta weird?

Guy 1A: No.

Guy 2A: So are we going to clean up the body of your alternate self off the floor?

Camera shows Guy 1B lying on the floor dead.

Guy 1A: Later. I’m watching The Terminator.

Guy 2A: Yeah you’re right.

One Hour Later.

Guy 1A: Oh now I get it! The Terminator is a robot! Of course it’s so simple now!

Guy 2A: How many times have you seen this movie?

Guy 1A: At least five times.

There’s a knock at the door. Guy 2A gets up and answers it. Guy 1D is on the other side. He walks in uninvited.

Guy 1D: Hey why am I lying dead on the doorstep? (Pause) And on the floor over there? (Pause) and sitting alive on the couch over there?

Guy 1A: Oh not another one!

Guy 1D: Another what?

Guy 2A: Another you. Another him… What is going on!?

Guy 1D: Oh you mean the clones have got here already?

Guy 2A: You mean they’re clones and not visitors from another reality?

Guy 1D: Nah they are from another reality I just call them clones.

Guy 1A: OK enough talk I’m going to kill you now.

Guy 1A gets out a gun and shoots Guy 1D.

Guy 2A: Why’d you do that?

Guy 1E: Do what?

Guy 2A and 1A turn and there’s another Guy 1 in the doorway.

Guy 1A: This.

Guy 1A shoots Guy 1E.

Guy 2A: Seriously where did you pull that gun from?

Guy 1A: I have unlimited hammer space.

Guy 2B: Nah you’ve just got a fat butt.

Guy 2A turns to the door and there’s another one of him.

Guy 2A: Oh no now there’s one of me!

Guy 2B: Oh no! The mirror isn’t lying when it shows an ugly me! I really am ugly!

Guy 2A: Hey!

Guy 2A grabs the gun off Guy 1A and shoots his clone.

Guy 2A: We seriously need to find a way to stop these clones from appearing.

Guy 1F: I agree.

Guy 1A turns around and there’s yet another clone of him.

Guy 1A: How’d you get in here?

Guy 1F: Through the back door of course.

Guy 1A: Oh…

There’s a long pause as they look at each other. Eventually Guy 1A gets out a gun and tries shooting Guy 1F but has no more bullets left.

Guy 1A: Agh! No bullets!

Guy 1F: Ha ha! Nice one retard! You’re like the biggest loser of all time! Ha ha ha ha- wait…

Guy 1F looks around and sees that The Guys have already left.

Guy 1F: Unbelievable… I just ditched myself!

Meanwhile at Guy 1A’s house…

Guy 1A is peering out his window.

Guy 1A: I think we’re safe here… me from an alternate reality wouldn’t be caught dead in my own house…

Guy 2A: You do realise what you’re saying right?

Guy 1A: Nope.

Guy 1A turns around.

Guy 1A: Look out I’m behind you!

Guy 2A ducks and quickly turns around. Guy 1G is just standing there doing nothing.

Guy 1G: Hi.

Guy 2A: Agh! Agh!

Guy 1G: Agh! Agh!

Guy 1A: Oh no… it’s got… a moustache!

Guy 1G: Agh! Agh! Yeah I do. Like it?

Guy 1A: Actually yeah. I’ve always wanted a moustache. Hey don’t worry we don’t need to kill this one.

Guy 2A slowly lowers the wooden plank from above Guy 1G’s head and puts it behind his back. Guy 1G looks around and Guy 2A just whistles innocently. Guy 1G turns back to Guy 1A.

Guy 1G: Well I’m glad you think that way…

Guy 2A: Hey if you’re from an alternate reality do you have the same name as him?

Guy 1G: I don’t know. I don’t even know my own name.

Guy 1A: Wow. Then what does everyone call you?

Guy 1G: Same thing they call you.

Guy 1A: Oh… yeah of course. So… why have you got a moustache?

Guy 1G whips out a gun and shoots Guy 1A in the arm and Guy 2A in the chest. He walks over to Guy 1A and points the gun at him.

Guy 1G: Mwahahahaha! Don’t you know that clones from an alternate reality with moustaches are always evil?

Guy 1A: Oh yeah… why did I forget that?

Guy 1G: Because you are the biggest idiot of all time! Mwahahahaha!

Guy 1A: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Guy 1G: Why are you laughing?

Guy 1A: You called yourself and idiot.

Guy 1G: No I… wait… oh… Grr!

Guy 1 starts laughing but is silenced by Guy 1G shooting him. Guy 2C, who also has a moustache, walks up to Guy 1G.

Guy 2C: Good work. Now we can take over the world! Mwahahahaha!

Guy 1G: Mwahahahaha!

Guy 2C: So what now?

Guy 1G: I don’t know it was your plan.

To be continued...

The Visitor From an Alternate Reality Prt 1

Sorry for putting The Holiday on hold (don't worry it shall be resolved!) but I've got exams for the next two weeks and have written anything in a while so I guess the hungry masses are starving for entertainment and so I must supply you with something. It's not second rate (well actually it is but I'm lying to you to make you think it's better than it really is) but it does get slightly confusing and delves more into the weird universe of Bilby where the 4th wall is occasionally broken and Cameraman talks more. (But not in this one though) I also wrote it two years ago so keep than in mind. The Visitor From an Alternate Reality Prt 1 everyone! Love it dammit! LOVE IT!

Guy 1A knocks on the door of Guy 2’s house. Guy 2 gets off the couch, where Guy 1B is sitting, and opens the door.

Guy 2: Hey when did you go outside?

Guy 1A: What are you on about I just got here.

Guy 2: Then if you’re out here then…

Guy 2 turns around.

Guy 2: Hey! You’re standing outside!

Cut to: Guy 1B on couch.

Guy 1B: No I’m not. I’m on the couch watching The Terminator!

Guy 2 looks at Guy 1A outside then back behind him.

Guy 2: No you’re not!

Guy 1A: Just let me in!

Guy 1A barges inside and looks into the lounge room where he finds himself on the couch.

Guy 1A: Hello.

Guy 1B: Whoa!

Guy 1A: What are you doing here?

Guy 1B: No what are you doing here?

Guy 1A: I asked you first.

Guy 1B: Technically I am you so in a way I asked you first.

Guy 1A: Then… that means… so…. Cheese…

Guy 1B: Oh man you sound like such a moron… wait you are me…

Guy 2: Uh… what’s going on here?

Guy 1A: Well it looks like this version of me-

Guy 1B: -Is from an alternate reality!

Pause.

Guy 2: OK. So now what?

Guy 1B: Well we could try and figure how out how this is possible…

Guy 2: Nah that’s too hard let’s just watch The Terminator.

Guy 2 sits down next to Guy 1B.

Guy 1A: I’m not going to watch The Terminator with my clone sitting next to me! It’s like… having the Terminator sitting next to you! He could kill me at any second…

Guy 1B: I am you!

Guy 2: Yeah but you are a total emo.

Guy 1A and B: I am not emo! Shut up you! Stop saying everything I’m saying at the same time!

Guy 1A: I’m a big stupid retard!

Guy 1B: Suck! You called yourself a retard! (Laughs)

While Guy 1B is laughing Guy 1A takes out a gun and shoots Guy 1B repeatedly.

Guy 1A: Guess the alternate me isn’t smart enough to realise I always carry my gun with me…

There’s a knock at the door and Guy 1A answers it. On the other side is Guy 1C. He is panting and leaning on the wall.

Guy 1C: Help… me… The me from an… alternate reality… has come to get me… he’s my evil… twin… (Pause) apparently…

Guy 1A: How many of me are there?

Guy 1C: At least… twenty-two…

Guy 1A: OK just wait here a second…

Guy 1C waits patiently by the door for Guy 1A. All of a sudden he gets hit on the head by a 2 by 4 piece of wood. He collapses on the floor and Guy 1A steps out of the door and starts beating up his out of screen double. He stops and straightens up again.

Guy 1A: Its twenty-one now!

Guy 1A spits on the ground where his clone’s dead body is.

To be continued...