CBM 14: The Evil Sewing Room

Worker 1 takes the bag off the camera.

Worker 1: Welcome to my evil lair strange biped!

Guy 1 looks around.

Guy 1: It looks like a sewing room.

Worker 1: Shut up! It’s all I can afford on my salary!

Guy 1 struggles but can’t break the ropes that tie him.

Worker 1: You’ll find that escape is quite impossible. For you see I have used rope.

Worker 1 looks proud.

Guy 1: Yes as opposed to air, which is a lot easier to escape from.

Worker 1: Yes trust me it doesn’t work for tying up prisoners. I’ve tried it before.

Worker 1 looks up at the ceiling.

Guy 1: So… having a flashback eh? Yeah I have those too…

Worker 1: Shut up. You’re distracting me.

Cut to: Worker 1 on the couch with Guy 2.

Worker 1: So…

Guy 2: So…

Worker 1: Do you want to… you know?

Guy 2: What?

Worker 1: Tattoo my name onto your forehead?

Guy 2: No…

Worker 1: Please?

Guy 2: You’re weird. I’m getting out of here.

Worker 1: No! I tied you up in air! You can’t leave!

Guy 2 gets up and walks away.

Worker 1: No! You can’t leave!

Worker 1 falls onto the floor onto her knees and faces the ceiling.

Worker 1: Nooooooo!

Cut to: Worker 1 in the sewing room.

Worker 1: He left me like everyone else…

Guy 1: Ah ha…

Worker 1 turns around to face Guy 1.

Worker 1: But you wont leave me. Will you? Will you!?

Guy 1: Uh… you’re scaring me now… Can I have that deranged lady that spoke gibberish tie me up instead?

Worker 1: Oh I see how it’s going to be… I have feelings too you know!

Guy 1: And issues.

Worker 1: (Happy) Oh you noticed! What else did you notice about me?

Guy 1: You have bipolar disease apparently.

Worker 1: No I don’t! I’m just invincible!

Guy 1: Yes! Whatever you say!

Worker 1: Exactly.

Guy 1: Is there a reason why you’ve kidnapped me and put me in bondages? You’re not going to do anything inappropriate with me are you? I mean… not that I’d want that or anything.

Worker 1: Does making sure you never talk to anyone else ever again and force you to sit around all day doing nothing count as inappropriate.

Guy 1: Oh that’s all you want with me… oh… well… oh well… yeah I guess you could do that… (Sighs) darn! And I was so close too…

Worker 1: We’re going to have lots of fun together…

Guy 1: Uh…

Worker 1: By we I mean me.

Guy 1: Yeah the kidnapped person normally doesn’t have fun hence the general idea that kidnapping is a bad thing by the general population.

Worker 1: Well yeah there’s that.

Guy 1: Look I’m getting kinda bored can you just tell me why I’m here and fill in any gaps so I can escape and still have closure?

Worker 1: OK fine if you must know… for a few months we realised that a strange bipedal creature was scaring away the customers at the local shops.

Guy 1: Strange bipedal creature?

Worker 1: You. We haven’t discovered your race yet.

Guy 1: I’m human.

Worker 1: A likely story but our scientists have yet to verify that.

Guy 1: Scientists?

Worker 1: The Bag boy with a microscope.

Guy 1: Oh that guy. He’s cool.

Worker 1: Oh you think so? I thought it was just me.

Guy 1: Nah he’s pretty cool. He can fly you know.

Worker 1: I know! That’s amazing! Do you ever wonder how he does it?

Guy 1: All the time. But you know what they say… he’s got a large S on his chest.

Worker 1: Oh that couldn’t have anything to do with it… I’m sure of it.

Guy 1: Yeah that’s what I thought but then one day I was handling some kryptonite and-

Worker 1: Silence! You were trying to distract me and escape weren’t you? You think I’m a moron don’t you!?

Guy 1: Well… yeah… I could add more but you’ve summed it up nicely there…. Yes… yes I do.

Worker 1: Well… OK then… yeah…. Where was I?

Guy 1: Your bagboy has yet to determine if I’m human or not.

Worker 1: Oh yes now I remember. Can you just save us a lot of time and tell me if you’re an alien or not?

Guy 1: I’m not alien.

Worker 1: (Gasps) You deny it then! Therefore it must be true!

Guy 1: That makes no sense.

Worker 1: Oh trying to cast doubt in me now are you? That only makes me believe more!

Guy 1: You’re strange.

Worker 1: And you’re tied up in ropes so shut up. I’m trying to tell a story here.

Guy 1: OK…

Worker 1: OK. No more interruptions.

Guy 1: I promise I won’t interrupt you.

Worker 1: Good.

Guy 1: No more.

Worker 1: Yes OK.

Guy 1: I won’t talk at all.

Worker 1: OK story time.

Guy 1: You won’t hear a noise.

Worker 1: I’m hearing noises now.

Guy 1: And what are they telling you?

Worker 1: Shut up! You’re so annoying it’s a miracle you haven’t been kidnapped (Pause) before now…

Guy 1: No actually I have been kidnapped before.

Worker 1: Really?

Guy 1: Yeah but I just tore off Michael Jackson’s nose and threw it away then ran while he was looking for it.

Worker 1: Huh… disturbing.

Guy 1: The tearing off the nose bit?

Worker 1: No the fact that Michael Jackson kidnapped you… you’re so lucky you escaped.

Guy 1: Yeah I know.

Worker 1: Wait a second! This is another distraction!

Guy 1: Nothing gets past you except for maybe that.

Guy 1 looks behind Worker 1 and Worker 1 turns around.

Worker 1: What is it? I don’t see anything… are you saying the sewing table is getting past me?

While Worker 1 is talking Guy 1 is struggling to free himself.

Worker 1: Hey wait a second… this is another distraction! Gr! Stop doing that!

Worker 1 turns around and Guy 1 quickly stops struggling and acts innocent.

Worker 1: We kidnapped you because you’re scaring away customers and lowering profits for the local shops! There! I was going to go on about our secret meetings and my great plan but you just had to distract me and now I can’t be bothered telling you the totally awesome tale of how I kidnapped you but you’re just so annoying I don’t think I will.

Guy 1: Oh but I’m sure it was a good story.

Worker 1: It was.

Guy 1: And you did kidnap me.

Worker 1: Yes I did.

Guy 1: You did a good job of it too.

Worker 1: Why thankyou…

Guy 1: Come on. Tell me the story. In detail this time!

Worker 1: Well if you insist. It was my idea to hold a secret meeting in this evil lair which I have cleverly disguised as a sewing room.

Guy 1: And you’ve done a great job. I could swear this is a sewing room.

Worker 1: Thankyou!

Worker 1 starts mumbling on about how she devised an evil plan in the background. Guy 1, meanwhile, is staring blankly at her not paying any attention to her at all.

Guy 1: (Thinking) Man this girl has serious issues… will she ever shut up!? I bet she’s making half of this up.

Worker 1: And then we ran into some Triffids and I bravely fought them of with a stick. Do you want to see my stick?

Guy 1 snaps out of it.

Guy 1: Hm?

Worker 1: Do you want to see the stick I defended myself with?

Guy 1: Oh that kind of stick. Yeah ok.

Worker 1 holds up a stick.

Worker 1: This is my hitty stick.

Guy 1: Interesting.

Worker 1: I hit people with it.

Guy 1: I see. Is that why it’s called a hitty stick?

Worker 1: Its name is Steve.

Guy 1: You named your stick Steve?

Worker 1: I like this stick. It’s mine.

Guy 1: I-

Worker 1: No talking or Steve hits you!

To be continued...

CBM 9: Return of the Pizza Guy

The Pizza Guy walks up to the door and knocks.

Guy 2: OK now don’t stuff this up. After all he is psychic and can read your mind.

Guy 1: He’s a wizard!? Why didn’t you say so?

Guy 2: Because… oh never mind…

Guy 2 turns around and opens the door. Pizza Guy smiles.

Guy 2: Now!

Guy 1 raises his board and is about to hit Pizza Guy but Pizza Guy whips out a gun from an empty pizza box and shoots Guy 1.

Pizza Guy: Psychic pizza guy strikes again (BEEP)es!

Pizza Guy runs away and Guy 2 looks out the door.

Guy 2: I can’t believe he out smarted me… again!

Guy 1: Ahem. I’ve just been shot and you’re ignoring me.

Guy 2: Oh… hmm… so… are you… OK?

Guy 1 gets up.

Guy 1: That is the dumbest question I have ever heard! Of course I’m OK! My floppy disk protected me.

Guy 2 chortles.

Guy 2: Ha! You said floppy disk.

Guy 1 takes out a floppy disk from his shirt.

Guy 2: Oh… that kinda floppy…

Guy 1: Yeah so shut up will you?

Guy 2: Make me.

Meanwhile, Worker 1 walks up to the door of Worker 2’s house. Worker 2 lets Worker 1 in.

Worker 1: Wow this looks a lot like my house…

Worker 2: Yeah… about that… have you noticed anything else that looks alike?

Worker 1: Uh… no…?

Worker 2: Never mind then.

Worker 2 shows Worker 1 to the living room. They walk in and see Worker 3 and Worker 4. Worker 3 and Worker 4 greet them.

Worker 1: Hey where’s… you know? The other one?

Worker 2: Name?

Worker 1: I don’t know its name. You know… the one that’s mainly quiet and only ever talks a few times?

Worker 2: Meh who cares?

Worker 3: I think that we should all sit down and have cups of tea.

Worker 2: Shut up.

Worker 3: Make me!

Worker 2 moves and Worker 3 flinches.

Worker 2: Ha! You flinched! You thought I was going to hit you!

Worker 3: No I didn’t! I have epilepsy!

Worker 3 holds out their arm and waggles it slightly.

Worker 3: woooooo! Uhh… wooo!

Worker 4: That’s a ghost. Are you like, mentally retarded or something?

Worker 3: Shut up. At least I’m not gay.

Worker 4 looks sad.

Worker 4: I am who I am!

Worker 4 turns away and cries.

Worker 1: Oh good going. Now look what you did!

Worker 3: Make me!

Worker 1: Why I ortta-

Worker 1 shakes their fist. Suddenly there’s a knock at the door.

Worker 2: Now who could that be?

Worker 3: Seeing how you only have one friend besides us I’m guessing its-

Girl 2 comes through the door and the sound of clapping starts.

Girl 2: Hey!

Worker 1: Hey.

Worker 2: Hey.

Worker 3: Hey.

Worker 4: Why did he leave me!? Was it my bad breath? Oh… hey…

Worker 4 goes back to crying.

Girl 2: What’s up with…?

Girl 2 points.

Worker 1: Oh that moron over there couldn’t keep their mouth shut.

Worker 3: Hey! I can keep it shut! I just don’t want to.

Worker 2: Shut up you enormous moron!

Worker 3: (Gasps) I can’t believe you just called me fat!

Worker 2: That’s not what I meant!

Girl 2: Hey wait a second… are you two brother and sister because you look alike.

Worker 1 and 2 looks at each other up and down then turn back to Girl 2 and say “No we don’t” at the same time.

Girl 2: Ok whatever. Do you have any cheese?

Worker 1: (confused) Yes… why do you ask?

Girl 2: Because your face asked.

Worker 1: That makes no sense.

Girl 2: Your face makes no sense. Oh burn!

Cameraman: Oh burn!

Worker 1: Quiet you.

Cameraman: You want to make me?

Worker 1: No… not really.

Cameraman: Thought so…

Girl 2: So why did you invite me here again?

Worker 1: I’m glad you asked. For you see… I have a plan…

Worker 1 puts their pinky finger in the corner of their mouth.

(Pause)

Girl 2: Go on…

Worker 1: Just a second I’m pretending I’m doctor evil.

(Pause)

Girl 2: Have you had enough time pretending to be a fictional character from a comedy movie?

Worker 1: I have… nnnnnnnnnnnnow.

Worker 1 puts their pinky down.

Worker 1: OK. I have a plan most evil!

Worker 1 puts their pinky finger back to their mouth.

Girl 2: OK I get it! It’s evil! You can stop with the fingers!

Worker 1: No I can’t! I love my finger!

Girl 2: Your face loves your finger! Now tell me the plan already!

Worker 1: Did I mention that it was… evil?

Girl 2: Yes!

Worker 2 and 3: Yes!

Worker 1: OK then… you see there’s this one annoying person who keeps scaring away our customers and I was thinking that you could…

Worker 1 whispers in Girl 2’s ear the rest.

Worker 1: So how about it?

Girl 2: I don’t know… do I get paid?

Worker 1: All the pictures of llamas you can fit on your bedroom wall.

Girl 2: All of the wall?

Worker 1: Yes… all of it.

Girl 2: Are you sure? It is a pretty big wall.

Worker 1: Yes! It will cover your entire wall or I make your wall smaller.

Girl 2: You’d destroy part of my house and cause it to become potentially structurally unstable just for me?

Worker 1: If it makes you happy then yes… yes I will…

Girl 2: Yes! Score!

Girl 2 hi-fives Worker 1.

Girl 2: You’ve got yourself a deal.

Worker 3: Ooooooh! I see what’s going on here!

Worker 1: Why don’t you ever shut up?

Worker 3: Because I don’t feel like it.

Worker 1: This is why we never value your ideas… because you’re annoying.

Worker 3: So if I just stop being so annoying we could have tea parties and eat lots of scones?

Worker 1: Fine… we’ll all have tea and scones if you stop being annoying…

(Pause)

Worker 3: Meh too much work… you two in a tree doing things that end with “G”.

Worker 1: Wait… how many bad things end in G… (gasps) That’s naughty!

Worker 3: Yeah I know.

Worker 1: I’m telling mother on you…

To be continued...

The Visitor From an Alternate Reality Prt 4

Part One:

Part Two:

Part Three:

Narrator: In the short time that the portal to an alternate reality had been open dozens of copies had come through… some good some evil… eventually the evil ones triumphed against the originals. Now who will save this world?

Guy 1I: Superman!

Guy 1I points to the sky. It’s a bird.

Guy 2E: It’s a bird.

Guy 1I: It’s a plane!

Guy 2E: No… it’s a bird… come on we have to find… home…

Guy 1I: Oooh! Blue!

Guy 2E: Yes that’s nice it’s the sky please move this way.

Guy 2E walks off leaving Guy 1I. Guy 2E comes back and grabs Guy1I and drags him away.

Meanwhile at Guy 1’s house…

Guy 3B: Mwhahahahaha!

Guy 3A: Shut up.

Guy 3B: Nobody tells me what to do but me!

Guy 3A: Exactly. Shut up. Now… how should we destroy the world?

Guy 3B: Nuclear weapons are always fun.

Guy 3A: Uhhh… that would cause a nuclear winter and I’d prefer my last days on earth celebrating being warm.

Guy 3B: Oh yeah… how about a killer virus that makes people go crazy with rage and kill other people and they don’t even eat or sleep when infected so they eventually die?

Guy 3A: I don’t know… I think that’s been done before…

Guy 3B: How ‘bout we block out the sun?

Guy 3A: That’s also been done.

Guy 3B: What hasn’t been done?

Guy 3A: Turning robots against humans on mother’s day?

Guy 3B: But mother’s day is too far away… plus we don’t have enough evil robots…

Guy 3A: Oh yeah…. forgot about that…

Just then, Guy 2E and Guy 1I burst through the door.

Guy 2E: Hello.

Guy 3A: ‘Sup?

Guy 2E: Nothing much.

In the background Guy 1I is poking the walls and going “oooooh!”

Guy 3B: Hey what’s up with him?

Guy 2E turns around and looks at Guy 1I. Guy 1I pokes the wall then jumps up and down while clapping excitedly. Guy 2E turns around.

Guy 2E: We’re from the retard universe.

Guy 3A: You don’t seem very retarded.

Guy 2E: I don’t know my own name or do simple maths but I can do complex equations in my head instantly.

Guy 3A: Really? What’s 2 plus 2?

Guy 2E: Uhh… umm… uhh…

Guy 2E starts going crazy and spasms.

Guy 2E: Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! My head hurts!

Guy 1I claps and laughs.

Guy 1I: Funny monkey!

Guy 3A turns to Guy 3B.

Guy 3A: Man this universe sucks. We really have to close that portal.

Guy 3B: I know… we have to do it before anything dumber comes through.

Guy 2E is on the floor still having a spasm. Guy 1I is kicking him.

Guy 3A: Oh for crying out loud… 2 plus 2 is 4!

Guy 2E stops and looks at him.

Guy 2E: You sure? I have to check that… uhh… umm… umm… agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! It burns!

Guy 2E starts going spastic again. Guy 3A sighs and shoots him. Guy 2E lays still and Guy 1I stares at the body. He then pokes it.

Guy 3A: So where did you come from?

Guy 3B: Your mum.

Guy 3A: OK I don’t know where to begin with what’s wrong with that… no but seriously we need to close this portal now.

Guy 3B: OK I’ll show you.

They turn to the door and see Guy 1I thumping Guy 2E with a plank of wood.

A few minutes later they arrive at the portal.

Guy 3A: How do we close it?

Guy 3B: I don’t know… shoot it?

They start shooting at it. Guy 1J appears and dies.

Guy 3A: Hey wow this strategy is making me feel happy already!

Guy 3B: This isn’t working…

Guy 3C: Perhaps I can help.

Guy 3A and B turn around and see Guy 3C who has glasses on.

Guy 3C: I’m from the retard universe as well but for some reason I’m a genius compare to the rest of you… oh burn! A guy from the retard universe is smarter than you!

Guy 3B raises his gun.

Guy 3B: You may be smarter but soon you’re going to be deader if you don’t stop mocking yourself.

Guy 3C: Oh yeah… well it’s simple, just reverse the polarity and the temporal space-time anomaly will implode and some other sci-fi mumbo jumbo happens and then all is solved although it hasn’t been properly explained.

Guy 3A: That was so vague it might just be plausible…

Guy 3B: Nothing about this is plausible…

Guy 3A: Shut up.

The screen goes black.

Narrator: And so the evil ones closed the portal to the other worlds by doing something that sounds scientific and therefore dooming the world forever… or so you would think…

Guy 1K looks around and smiles.

The End.

The Visitor From an Alternate Reality Prt 3

Part One
Part Two

Guy 2C is dragging Guy1A away.

Guy 2C: Alternate you needs and alternate diet.

Guy 1G: I can shoot you with my alternate weapon if you don’t stop complaining.

Guy 2C: Or alternatively you could help me.

Guy 1G: I’m a bit busy getting rid of alternate you.

Guy 1G is dragging Guy 1A away in another direction. He stops and walks away.

Guy 1G: OK so what’s your evil alternate reality plan?

Guy 2C: Well I was thinking we could find out where the vortex is before any other copies of us come through.

Guy 1G: Then finish off the other approximately twenty versions of me?

Guy 2C: Yeah. If I accidentally kill you in the process know there’s no way I could have known.

Guy 1G: But I have a moustache and none the other ones do.

Guy 2C: Oh… well then I’ll kill you accidentally.

Guy 1G: Stop saying you’re going to kill me!

Guy 2C: Accidentally of course.

Meanwhile in the street a vortex opened up. It disappeared in a flash of light and another Guy 1 and 2 stood in its place.

Guy 1H: Whoa! Dude! We just travelled into an alternate reality!

Guy 2D: Whoa! Dude!

Guy 1H: I know! Hey I wonder if this is the evil universe?

Guy 2D: Well if this was the evil universe then our alternate selves would have moustaches. IT just makes sense I mean seriously… what idiot doesn’t know that?

Guy 1H: I don’t know but anyone dumb enough not to know that deserves to die.

Guy 2D: I agree.

The Guys walk off.

Over at Guy 1’s house the two evil Guys were discussing things.

Guy 1G: Well I say we should destroy the world.

Guy 2C: Well I say we should take over the world.

Guy 1G: Oh no one cares about what you say.

Guy 2C: Well if we take over the world instead of destroying it we could rule over more than just ash. And if there are still people there are still girls.

Guy 1G: Ohhh! Now I know why no one ever destroyed the world in our universe…

Cameraman: Duh!

Guy 1G: Hey should we destroy this universes cameraman?

Guy 2C: Well do you see another cameraman anywhere?

Guy 1G looks in a direction and the camera view is coming from there. He looks in other directions and the same thing happens.

Guy 1G: Nope. I don’t see any other cameraman.

Guy 2C: Anyway… this cameraman is a lot better looking then our old one.

Cameraman: Uh… don’t you guys have alternate girlfriends?

Guy 2C: No… they’d beat us if we did…

Cameraman: Aww! How sad…

Guy 2C: Thankyou for your concern.

Cameraman: I’m being sarcastic! Haha! Lol you guys get beaten up buy alternate reality girls.

Guy 1G: Why do you think we’re evil?

Cameraman: I don’t know… because you’re gay?

Guy 2C: No! Because we’ve been abused by short blond women!
Guy 1G: Well he mainly has… a lot…

Outside where the other alternate guys are…

Guy 1H: Hey dude.

Guy 2D: Yeah?

Guy 1H: I wonder what kinds of fast food places this universe has?

Guy 2D: Yeah I wonder… yeah imagine how funny it’d be if there was lots of MacDonald’s!

Guy 1H: (Laughs) that would be a nightmare! Seriously if it ever became a successful chain of fast food outlets I’d just kill myself!

Guy 2D: (Laughs) Imagine if there were thousands of them all over the world!

Guy 1H: Now that would be impossible. MacDonald’s is terrible. No one would ever eat there.

Guy 2D: Well this is an alternate reality. Anything can happen.

Guy 1H: Yeah still don’t think MacDonald’s is successful in any universe… imagine all the fat people… it’d be like some kind of… obesity epidemic.

Guy 2D: Man I sure hope this universe isn’t like that… it’d be like… a universe full of fat idiots with no taste buds.

Guy 1H: Yeah tofu is so much better than hamburgers and chips.

Guy 2D: Oh definitely. No one disagrees with that!

Cameraman: Uh, hate to interrupt your talking but my cameraman sense is tingling.

Guy 1H: What is it cameraman? Is someone in trouble? Has someone fallen down a well?

Cameraman: Well they might but that’s not my problem. I sense there is an evil version of you plotting to take over the world… and get me into bed… you have to stop them!

Guy 1H: We can’t let them take over the world!

Cameraman: You can’t let them get near my pants!

Guy 2D: Yeah, yeah… the world is more important than you.

Cameraman kicks Guy 2D.

Guy 2D: OK! OK! We’ll save you! Just please don’t kick me! It really hurts!

Cameraman: Next time I’ll kick higher… and I don’t mean your stomach…

Guy 2D: Oh no! Not my face!

Cameraman: (Sarcastic) Yes… I am going to kick your face…

Guy 1H: OK can we go save the world now? I really couldn’t care less about where you kick him just as long as he helps me save the world.

Guy 2D: Oh that’s nice.

Guy 1H: Fine. Don’t help me take over the world. But that’ll just be five worlds I’ve saved and four that you’ve saved.

Guy 2D: I saved your mum. That counts as a world. After all she is as big as one.

Guy 1H: Cameraman…

Cameraman kicks Guy 2D in the legs.

Guy 1H: Thankyou.

Guy 3A: Hi guys.

Guy 3 waves.

Guy 1H: Bah! Where’d you come from!?

Guy 3A: Your mum. What’s it to you?

Guy 2D: We haven’t got time for this we have to save the world.

Guy 3A: Cool. Can I come?

Guy 2D: No.

Guy 3A: Aw! But I want to save the world!

Guy 2D: Have you got any experience in this field of work?

Guy 3A: Uh… no…

Guy 2D: Exactly.

The Guys except for Guy 3A walk away. They go to Guy 1’s house and open the door. They see their alternate selves.

Guy 1H: Whoa! Dude it’s me!

Guy 1G: Oh no! It’s me!

Guy 2D: Hey.

Guy 2C: Hey.

Guy 1H: You’ve got a moustache and therefore are evil!

Guy 1G: Oh that’s nearly as discriminate as a full-grown man against pink dresses.

Guy 1H: That’s… irrelevant… and just plain weird.

Guy 2C: So… you shave your face?

Guy 2D: Yeah… you?

Guy 2C: Oh no… have to maintain my evil look…

Guy 2D: Oh of course.

Guy 1H: So how are you planning to take over the world?

Guy 1G: Oh like I’d tell anyone other then myself and my partner over there…

Guy 1H: By partner you mean…?

Guy 1G: Partner in crime! What? You think you’re gay?

Guy 1H: Oh no! No way! Just wondering if you were just saying that because you were in some tennis tournament.

Guy 1G: Well actually…

Guy 2C: So yeah it’s unbelievable… he has to disagree with nearly everything I say. He’s a total moron.

Guy 2D: Yeah I know! Seriously remember that time he was searching for aliens?

Guy 2C: Aliens!? In my universe it was Big Foot!

Guy 2D: Ha! Now that is just stupid!

Guy 2C: I know… well looks like I'm going to have to over power the alternate him now. My friend will do the same to you seeing how we’re evil and all that.

Guy 2D: Oh OK. Hey wait! I’m supposed to stop you!

All four Guys get out their guns and start shooting at each other. Guy 2D gets shot and Guy 1G does as well.

Guy 1H: Oh no! You’ve been shot!

Guy 2C: Well I didn’t shoot him.

Guy 1H: Then who did?

Guy 3A: I did.

Everyone turns to the doorway and Guy 3A is standing there with a gun.

Guy 3A: I decided hey… why save the world? I’d rather destroy it!

Guy 2C: No you don’t destroy it you take it over! That way the girls survive!

Guy 3A: Nah I just too lazy to rule. Destroying everything besides my pet dog on the other hand… yeah I think I can do that.

Guy 1H: Wait… if there’s nothing left but your dog then…

Guy 3A: Silence!

Guy 3A shoots Guy 1H. Guy 1H falls to the ground and raises his hand.

Guy 1H: Then… what will you… eat?

Guy 1H dies. Guy 2C points his gun at Guy 3A.

Guy 2C: Oh yay he’s dead! Now I can take over the world and you won’t stop me!

Guy 3B: Think again!

Guy 3B shoots Guy 2C from behind and kills him.

Guy 3A: Good work alternate me!

Guy 3B: Thank you other alternative me!

Guy 3A: Now let’s destroy the world!

Guy 3B: Yeah!

To Be continued...