Guy 1: Do you think Steve likes being used as a weapon?
Worker 1: Dude it’s just a stick you’d don’t have to personify it. Gosh. I mean seriously you talk as if it can actually think and has emotions. Are you retarded?
Guy 1: If I say yes will you let me go?
Worker 1: No I just won’t mock you about your stupidity. That’d just be mean.
Guy 1: Ah and I see how kidnapping me is the kind thing to do.
Worker 1: Oh good I don’t have to explain it to you then.
Guy 1: (To himself) Why haven’t my friends come to rescue me yet?
Cut to: Guy 2 on the couch.
Guy 2 is watching the TV.
Elmo: Why did you hit Elmo?
Big Bird: Because I’m sick of you always using me as a tool for revenue! I am not an ATM machine! I’m an unidentified bird thing!
Elmo: Elmo should’ve left you in the ditch by the side of the road.
The sounds of gunshots can be heard.
Elmo: You aren’t so big now are you?
Guy 2 chuckles to himself.
Guy 2: Oh man… that Elmo is one awesomely violent felt puppet…
Cameraman: Hey where’s that guy?
Guy 2 turns off the TV.
Guy 2: What guy?
Cameraman: I don’t know his name… you know… the one that always comes here and eats your food and abuses your dog?
Guy 2: What dog?
Cameraman: Oh never mind…
Guy 2: You be quiet now. Me watching TV…
Guy 2 turns on the TV.
Elmo: Elmo now has nuclear weapon! Ah ha ha ha ha!
Cut to: Guy 1 in the sewing room.
Guy 1: They should be coming any moment now…
Worker 1: Oh don’t worry, you’re friends will never find us! Mwahahahahaha!
Worker 1 puts her pinky finger to the corner of her mouth.
Guy 1: Oh seriously why do you do that?
Worker 1: It makes me feel special OK?
Guy 1: Don’t worry I’m sure people think you’re special too.
Worker 1: Well… good for them then.
Cut to: Guy 2’s house.
Guy 4 walks up to the door and knocks. Guy 2 opens the door.
Guy 4: Hey. Why are you here?
Guy 2: I… live here?
Guy 4: This is where the CCC holds meetings…
Guy 2: Since when? This is my house.
Guy 4: Are you sure?
Guy 4 walks in and looks around.
Guy 4: Wow it really does look similar…
Guy 2: So is a meeting being held?
Guy 4: Huh?
Guy 2: You’re here for a reason.
Guy 4: Am I? Oh! Oh yeah. Crazy Bilby has been kidnapped.
Guy 2: Who?
Guy 4: That guy… that…
Guy 2 looks at him strangely.
Guy 4: The guy with large retarded hair.
Guy 2: Oh!
Cameraman: How come when I ask you about him you don’t know anything but he tells you and you get it?
Guy 2: I don’t know… it’s one of those mysteries of the universe… like why the Simpson’s never age…
Guy 4: Yes well we can’t have one of our members in captivity… we must save him.
Guy 2: What if he’s in a zoo? Can’t we just throw popcorn at him and make faces? Maybe he’ll throw faeces at us and get real mad.
Guy 4: That’s a sickening idea.
Guy 2: Hey I don’t see you coming up with ideas.
Guy 4: That’s because you keep interrupting me before I can say important things! It seems to occur every time I talk.
Guy 2: Excuses, excuses.
Guy 4: OK we must find this guy. It’s very important that we recover him soon or everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve will be lost.
Guy 2: I don’t see how he’s so important.
Guy 4: Silence! Find me Crazy Bilby!
Guy 2: Yeesh. Calm down man. For a short guy you sure are easy to anger.
Guy 4: I’m not short!
Guy 2: Oh now who’s in denial?
Guy 4: Shut up! Find me him before everything is lost! I must go now… I have an embroidery lesson. Today we’re going to learn how to thread a needle.
Guy 4 walks out the door.
Guy 2: What was that all about?
Cameraman: Meh. Who cares? Let’s just find Fatty Bilby and stop him from complaining.
Guy 2: Crazy Bilby.
Cameraman: Oh now you’re complaining too? Don’t make me go analogue on you’re hieny.
Guy 2: Don’t you mean medieval?
Cameraman: Oh seriously you find faults in everything I do! “You didn’t film this right” “you missed this classic moment” “you filmed too many bloopers and not enough non-blooper type things…” Seriously just leave my filming style alone!
Guy 2: I never said anything about the way you film…
Cameraman: You’re bringing me down…
Guy 2: OK I’m sorry.
Cameraman: You’re forgiven… now let’s go find… that… guy…
Guy 2: Shouldn’t you lead the way?
Cameraman: I thought you would.
Guy 2: No you said the dramatic thing I’m the one that follows.
Cameraman: You’re just making me do all the work because of my cameraman sense aren’t you?
Guy 2: Yes.
Cut to: Guy 4 at some undisclosed location.
Guy 4 approaches Guy 3 and 5 who are sitting down doing nothing.
Guy 4: Our plans have to be put on hold for a moment.
Guy 3: What!? Why?
Guy 4: There has been a setback. Code name Crazy Bilby has been kidnapped and therefore incapable of fulfilling his purpose.
Guy 3: This is an unfortunate setback… have we got a back up?
Guy 4: No… we must recover him without fail.
Guy 3: OK. I’ll get right on it.
To be continued...